I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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