Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
