I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Randomize
