help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Randomize
