those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Randomize