dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize