He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
