worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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