went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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