I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
