Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize