i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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