Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
