I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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