it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
