Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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