Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
there is another microwave in the elevator.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
