I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize