you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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