my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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