After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
