Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
