So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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