I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
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