I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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