I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Can Purell be used as lube?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Panties = found
Randomize