He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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