would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
