Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Dignity is for republicans.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
