so that wasnt chicken after all
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
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