things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
