omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
