Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize