listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
