So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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