Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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