I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
So vagazzling was a success
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