the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
