as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
