Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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