i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize