You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
