question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
