I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
