There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
