I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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