are you still at the devil's house?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
