? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
