Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
