and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
