It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
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