I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
