I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
