i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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