Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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