which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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