we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
