why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
