Can Purell be used as lube?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
