Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Randomize
