I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
