so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
How does one acquire holy water?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
