All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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