Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
