yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
