Already got asked if we're dating
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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