the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
