she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
