Is it normal to miss your booty call?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I understand Curling. That high.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Who died my cat blue again?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
