GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize