talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
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