found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
